Thursday, March 22

Shame On Us!

Abuse. 5 letters. Just 5 letters that can tear apart somebody, 5 letters that can break somebody down. 
What is abuse? Is it restricted to beatings and punches and kicks?

Verbal abuse is defined as : a negative defining statement told to you or about you. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and rarely indulges in a defining statement, the relationship is said to be a verbally abusive one.

Few days ago, a friend of mine shared this article on Twitter : I Single The Body Electric
It is a story of a married woman, who is abused physically, verbally, emotionally and mentally by her husband.
What kind of a world are we living in?

Here is one more example : This Article.

How dare that man even victimize himself? Marital discipline? Teachers and parents are told not to hit kids even, because it may affect them deeply and scar them... And you hit your own wife branding it discipline??

In India, we already have so many social evils such as dowry and female foetcide which affect the female/wife. Add to that, abusive husbands. They hit them, burn them, rape them.. Oh wait, technically it's not rape coz they're married. WHAT THE HELL? Rape is rape. You bed her against her force, and I call it rape. Just because she is your wife doesn't mean you own her!


Some women like her don't even realize that they're being abused until they realize that this is not normal. This is not what happens to everyone. This is evil.

You don't only hurt them physically but you break them down. Why is this happening to me? Is it because I am worthless? Unlovable? Victims are afraid to come forward because in our patriarchal society, majority of such cases never see the light because the victims are pressured by their families or blackmailed by their spouse.

When or if I become a mother, I'll teach my kid what is right, and what isn't. That he or she is always welcome to tell me if something is off. That coming clean or asking for help is not pathetic, but does take courage. That I am going to be here for them always irrespective of what happens. That I will not succumb to the society's method of speaking filth about the girls who have been abused or raped.
The onus is on our generation to change. To change our mindset, change the way we perceive such situations, change the way we always need the society's approval. 

Can you and I even imagine what kind of trouble and torture these women have gone through? 
There are so many stories where you come to know that these men are really charming and loving, but under the influence of alcohol or because of some unfortunate event, they resort to violence and who except their wives/girlfriends/kids are easy targets?

Abuse is abuse ; be it verbal, physical or emotional. If you are in an abusive relationship, speak out, contact your nearest center. Google for your nearest helplines and make yourself heard. It is NOT your fault, you are NOT to blame. The person who did this to you, he/she is a sick person. 

If you see or hear or come to know of somebody being abused in your family or locality, do not keep in mind the prestige or the image, consult with your elders and if no option remains, call the nearest helpline or visit the police station.


This post is a part of the Time To Change contest sponsored by Stayfree Advanced hosted by IndiBlogger.
- Blahblaholic x 


  1. No one is a victim until they accept so. To rise above requires just one change... stop it if you do not like it, the first time; if you don't and let it go, you have given the permission to be abused for a lifetime. Shout, scream, hit if you have to but do stop it if you do not like... as there are plenty of cheesy magazines floating the idea that women like being roughed with and enjoy pain and are mostly masochistic. Hence the male often is nurtured to be sadistic. Nature vs Nurture drama once again at its best.

    1. I totally agree with your comment, although I think sometimes people don't even realize they're being mistreated.
      Thanks for your comment! :)

  2. Very well written and very informative! This post deserves to be read by everyone!! :)


  3. I am proud of my little girl for writing this. Someone is growing up to be a better tomorrow and a change. I have lots to say on this topic as I endorse and work against abuse. But you said it i nod in agreement :)

    Great work girl :)

    1. Thanks a lot Di.. Coming from you, you dont know how much it means. *tiiight hugs and kisses*

  4. We live in a sad state and sad times:( men will always remain chauvnist no matter what:\ good blog post,nirati

  5. Awesome post .An eye opener .Keep writing.

  6. Nicely written.True eye opener for the society
    Well done yaar..cheers for the article :).
    Also Check out mine.Give your comment on it.
    Are Hijra's(TransGender) not a Human being.?


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