Shame On Us!

Abuse. 5 letters. Just 5 letters that can tear apart somebody, 5 letters that can break somebody down. 
What is abuse? Is it restricted to beatings and punches and kicks?

Verbal abuse is defined as : a negative defining statement told to you or about you. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and rarely indulges in a defining statement, the relationship is said to be a verbally abusive one.


Few days ago, a friend of mine shared this article on Twitter : I Single The Body Electric

It is a story of a married woman, who is abused physically, verbally, emotionally and mentally by her husband.

What kind of a world are we living in?

Here is one more example : This Article.

How dare that man even victimize himself? Marital discipline? Teachers and parents are told not to hit kids even, because it may affect them deeply and scar them... And you hit your own wife branding it discipline??

In India, we already have so many social evils such as dowry and female foetcide which affect the female/wife. Add to that, abusive husbands. They hit them, burn them, rape them.. Oh wait, technically it's not rape coz they're married. WHAT THE HELL? Rape is rape. You bed her against her force, and I call it rape. Just because she is your wife doesn't mean you own her!

 

Some women like her don't even realize that they're being abused until they realize that this is not normal. This is not what happens to everyone. This is evil.

You don't only hurt them physically but you break them down. Why is this happening to me? Is it because I am worthless? Unlovable? Victims are afraid to come forward because in our patriarchal society, majority of such cases never see the light because the victims are pressured by their families or blackmailed by their spouse.

When or if I become a mother, I'll teach my kid what is right, and what isn't. That he or she is always welcome to tell me if something is off. That coming clean or asking for help is not pathetic, but does take courage. That I am going to be here for them always irrespective of what happens. That I will not succumb to the society's method of speaking filth about the girls who have been abused or raped.

The onus is on our generation to change. To change our mindset, change the way we perceive such situations, change the way we always need the society's approval. 

"WE NEED TO BE THE CHANGE WE SEE"

"He took my spirit, he took my soul. I had a lot of life. I had a big heart, I trusted everybody. I loved life and now I don't. I'm bitter. I'm hurt, scared, burned. I'm frustrated and tired of being afraid."

Can you and I even imagine what kind of trouble and torture these women have gone through? 

There are so many stories where you come to know that these men are really charming and loving, but under the influence of alcohol or because of some unfortunate event, they resort to violence and who except their wives/girlfriends/kids are easy targets?

Abuse is abuse ; be it verbal, physical or emotional. If you are in an abusive relationship, speak out, contact your nearest center. Google for your nearest helplines and make yourself heard. It is NOT your fault, you are NOT to blame. The person who did this to you, he/she is a sick person. 

If you see or hear or come to know of somebody being abused in your family or locality, do not keep in mind the prestige or the image, consult with your elders and if no option remains, call the nearest helpline or visit the police station.

BE THE VOICE!

This post is a part of the Time To Change contest sponsored by Stayfree Advanced hosted by IndiBlogger.

- Blahblaholic x 

My Incredible Story!

My elder cousin sister works at Patni Computers and one day she told us if we were interested in trekking. I've been trekking only in 9th and 10th when my school took us and it was a hell of an adventure! xD

So I was like YESSS! :D

My brother, poor thing, had school so he couldn't have come. Di told me that we had to organize and collect or group as many people as we could. I asked all my friends, I asked my colony bestie Honey and spread the word.

Some people confirmed, then cancelled. I asked my other cousin and she said yes too!

So that morning, the 5 of us, my 2 sisters, Honey, her sister and me set off to go trekking!

We met the main in charge and he told us to follow him to the bus. That only was SO FAR that Honey and I felt like bailing then and there :p Haha!

The bus ride initially was very awkward because everyone was aged around 22-25 and above, and I was barely 16, Honey 16, my cousin 18. And we didn't know anybody but soon we started making ourselves out of the city and the scenic view was beautiful!

Greenery all around and it was drizzling, it was really really beautiful.

 

We were to trek near the fort of Tikona, which is around 60 kms away from Pune.The 3500 feet high hill is pyramidal in shape and that's why it is named 'Tikona" meaning triangle.

We left our extra baggage in the bus and carrying only the ABSOLUTE ESSENTIALS, got ready to trek up

We climbed and climbed and climbed and then suddenly it got really windy, my eldest cousin is really thin, and believe me, she needed to hold onto something to remain standing. We were on the base of a steep climb and it was incredibly windy. The leader told us we could go up if we wish. Honey convinced me and somehow we managed to go there. And ohmigod, the wind there could actually blow you off your feet. 

It blew your hair onto your face, whipped the windcheater against your skin and for those moment, it was like you could fly!

That was one of the many REALLY exciting and thrilling points of our trek!

We were walking, actually trudging on and on, I was really tired, and hungry, and so damn thirsty, so every 10 mins I'd keep calling for a break but they didn't give in, shaay :p

Finally we made it to the top of the fort, there was an inbuilt reservoir and a Shiva temple.
The fort was so brilliantly built. I mean huge rocks, holes to fit the canons, the fort is constructed in such a way that people cannot easily notice the entryway. It is hidden partially and looks like an adjoining wall.
Water reservoir so even if a siege is laid, people have water to survive on.
The steps of the fort worried me though. They were HUGE, a little chipped off here and there, and extremely slippery due to the rain and moss.
But our leader -thank god for them!- had tied a rope along the way and we could lean onto it for our support. I was petrified while climbing down but they helped me so much! One person took my bag and told me to solely concentrate on getting down. When the steps turned, there were our people standing ready to hold our hand and help us down.
We also ended up helping other groups of people who had come there that day.

There we finally sat down, drank water and ate glucose biscuits. It had started raining and we were wet to the bone but we didn't, couldn't complain! The view from atop the hill was magnificient.

Fog, greenery, waterfalls, what more could one ask for?

We spotted the place from where we'd started trekking and Honey and I couldn't believe that we had actually physically come here! It felt so good, we were like super proud of ourselves and what not! EXHILARATING is the word! And what an adrenalin rush, whoa!

We got down  and then visited this lake and resort near the area. We dipped our feet into the water and splashed each other with the water as we were waiting for the food. Soon we were called inside. All 15 of us sat down and gulped down food. For the first time none of us cared about the taste, even though the food was quite decent, we just hungrily gobbled up what was in front of us. Roti, sabji, dal, chawal, yum!

The resort was amazing. We saw geese, fishes, monkeys, ducks and we took down the name of the place, in case we'd come around here.

Later, we got into the bus, and changed into our dry clothes, we sat down and immediately almost all of us went to sleep. It was a looong way home, thanks to the traffic and we spent the last 2-3 hours singing and talking.

I wasn't singing much coz hello? They were all old songs, out of which I could sing along to only 2-3 of them. So this one guy/uncle? asked me to sing whatever I know, and if he knows he'll sing along.

I sang Love Story first and they loved it *turns red* Then I asked him if he knows all the songs from Rock On, I sang 'Yeh Tumhari Meri Baatein' and two of them sang along. In the end, they were all 'you have such a beautiful voice, why didn't you sing before' blah blah. But it felt good, really really good! =)

We returned home extremely incredibly tired, but full of beautiful amazing memories!

This post is a part of Incredible Experiences contest sponsored by Mahindra  on Indiblogger.

- Blahblaholic x

Tainted Innocence

Author's Note : Before reading, just keep in mind I'm a 16 year old. Of course it's not an excuse for bad writing but this is my first attempt at such a topic. Cut me some slack, thoda sa. :)

She sits tall, taking down notes diligently. She's been the talk of the staff room since ages. And why wouldn't she? A small town girl, she came out of practically nowhere, but her impact - let's just say it was too strong to be ignored!

Almost everyone knew her story. She belonged to the nearby town which had more of a village-y feel to it, her parents had a small plot of land on which they grew enough only to survive. She had been spotted at her school farewell ceremony by the present principal who'd reluctantly attended the function as the guest of honor, and awarded a full scholarship.

The bell rang and she walked out. It was the 15th of the month. She called her parents on the outdated Nokia phone she'd managed to buy them. After a few rings, they picked up. 

She said that yes she was fine, the job was going great and she would send the money soon.

She changed into her work clothes, tied up her hair, grabbed her purse and left.

Later that night, she stood at the door, freed her luscious hazel hair and gently undid her robe. She made her way to the bed and purred seductively at the man lying down beside her.

The man bit her lips drawing blood while she whimpered and left after throwing a bundle of notes at her.

She lay still, tears streaming down her face. All of 18, she had almost perfected the art. She tried to console herself... Who would be ready to employ an 18 year old with no qualification or background while a hundred better prospects stood in front of them? Another year here and she would atleast have a better chance at a job, even if it was just at the local library or McDonald. Just another year she whispered,  one more year and I'll find a better job. One which doesn't leave with me feeling empty and violated.

Images Obtained with tons of help and suggestions from @OhMyKohli , @SugarsnSpice , @EkCupCoffee , @Desdemonaous and @InbuiltSinner. Thanks a lot guys <3

Wish y'all a great week ahead.

- Blahblaholic x

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