Monday, March 25

Queer Cheer || Homophobia? Now that's a choice.

I remember the first time I'd read the word 'gay'. I had come across it in the newspaper I was reading at that time and I didn't know what it was.. At eleven, I would boast of a pretty above average vocabulary and so I asked my elder cousin what it was, although I can't seem to recollect it now.
The first time I ever had a conversation/discussion about it was online on some poll or question which seems eons ago. Since when I have known what the word meant, I always thought that some people think they are attracted to their own gender and considered it normal. But when I commented that on the poll, I invited a hell lot of irk and abuse. 
"The only reason you're supporting gays is because you are one." || Apparently, I was supposed to be insulted and retract my statement. I was 13 but damnnit, I thought (think) I was right and wouldn't budge!

Now soon approaching 18, I stand by what I've always believed in, that everybody has the right to be/believe in whatever they choose. Gay/straight/atheist/Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Jain/Buddhist doesn't matter as long as you're a nice person. Because : 

I do not think as an individual, I get to choose how a certain person goes about their life. And why should I? How does it matter to me if the person is attracted to the opposite gender or his/her own?! How can I judge a person's life choices? Who or what gives me the right to brand a love wrong? Illegal? An abomination?

Who are we to call out bisexuals? To say that bisexuals are just people who are confused? That they exist because they're indecisive? 
Why can't we accept that there are people who are attracted to people of both genders? 
Anyone with questions regarding bisexuality should read this. It's informative and to the point.

Why can we so easily distinguish between an ice cream, lolly pop and a candy but not between transsexuals, drag queens and transgenders? 
Transsexualism  is generally when a person's designated gender conflicts with their psychological gender.
But basically, transgender is a generic or a common term which includes other divisions such as transsexuals, cross dressers, etc.

Millions of people across the country hide behind their daily job routines or school or college because they are afraid to come out. They're afraid to tell anyone about this HUGE aspect of their lives because that'd cause this toxic chain of events .. Parents disown their children, families refuse to recognize their existence, the bullying raises its ugly head .. 

A lot of people claim that homosexuality is learnt.
Since you're kids, your definition of a couple or marriage = a male + a female, because that is what you see around you, on the television, or you read about in books .. What if the only reason so many people are heterosexuals is because that's the only way they think life works?

Two of the biggest social institutes : home & school are what a child is influenced by the most. With everybody being exposed to media which may not be age appropriate at all times, parents should talk to their children about sex and homosexuality during their early teens or when they deem it appropriate. You want them to know the facts, but parents shouldn't influence their minds poisoning it with their prejudices and bias!
While I haven't come across any homophobic person in real life, I do know quite a few who aren't for it. One of them simply said that she doesn't get it but she isn't opposed to it. Another cites her religion for her believing that homosexuality is against law, nature and God.

Am I a believer? Yes.
Am  I religious? Yes, a little.
I personally believe that God just wants people to be happy. Whatever name you call him/her by, I believe that if you're religious or even a believer, how can you even suggest that God would hate or punish anyone who isn't straight? 

I have, since a long time, thought about this issue so much. I really would like to do something for the LGBTQ community. It is morbidly sad how apathetic we are to causes which may not directly affect us right now.
If men can be feminists, if men can fight for women rights, why can't straight people fight for queer rights?

This is the time to do things. Stop hatred around you.
  • Calling a party gay because it's lame? STOP.
  • Calling someone gay because he cries? STOP.
  • Calling someone gay because he doesn't revel or show off his macho-ness? STOP.
  • Calling someone a lesbian because she's touchy-feely around her friend? STOP

Bullying kills people. There are innumerable people who have suffered from hate and bullying because they are a part of the LGBTQ community. There are teens who have been murdered .. Is this the kind of rigid society you want to live in and pass on?
Calling anything lame 'gay' has become an excruciatingly annoying habit now a days, if you do it too, stop. Ask your friends to stop. While you can't force everyone, or expect everyone to be pro LGBTQ, the least anyone can do as a human being is stop with the gay/faggot/fag/queer insults. 
If you notice someone doing this, try and stop it. Be a nice person for a change.

There is no cut method to remove homophobia and increase awareness instantaneously. It is a long process we need to work on constantly. But we need to start today. Start small, read up. Understand what the community is about, understand what they feel when people react the way they usually do. Put yourself in their shoes. Be more accepting. 
Be open minded. Pass it on to your siblings, your friends, your readers and your parents. Queer Pride is a thing to be celebrated. Today. Now.


Some of the NGOs in India that do amazing work and function as gay/lesbian support groups can be found here, some queer support groups can be found here
This is a list of helplines.
The Humsafar Trust has been working for the LGBTQ community since 1994 with their various projects spanning health care, support, project management, community work, counseling, etc.
'Labians' = Lesbians and Bisexuals in Action is an autonomous and non funded, queer feminist collective of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women since 1995. They can be mailed at : , and their helpline 09833278171 is open on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays from 5pm-8pm.

"Homosexuality : (n) Sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.
Homophobia : (n) Unreasoning fear and antipathy towards homosexuals and homosexuality."

(This post was written for the iDiya contest hosted by Indiblogger)

Blog about any social cause you are passionate about, and its potential solution. If there are any inspiring people or organizations working towards solving it, blog about them as well. INR 30000 goes towards an NGO of your choosing!


  1. "What if the only reason so many people are heterosexuals is because that's the only way they think life works?"

    This is what stood out the most to me. You're basically telling all those haters, "BOOHYAH!" LOL! How true is this? It's a very thought provoking post, a very poignant one as well.

    You've been away for so long Blah blah, but my goodness, when you make your appearance, you shine! Well done and kudos to you for trying to establish peace and equality and ultimately, and end to all the senseless violence, bullying and hate crimes. *big hugs*

    1. I'm glad you liked the post Crystal. I have often wondered about that, when people say homosexuality is learnt!

      Aww :') You are far too kind always Crystal. Thank you so much!

  2. great GREAT post Ni.You are strong and honest so is your article. I heart your posts. SERIOUSLY

  3. SO nice to see someone blogging about gay rights, especially because of the big, fat silence around it in India. =) I wish more people could learn to be tolerant!

    1. Thank you for reading!
      I agree, I wish more people would learn to be tolerant not only towards the LGBTQ community, but also in general. x


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