Queer Cheer || Homophobia? Now that's a choice.

I remember the first time I'd read the word 'gay'. I had come across it in the newspaper I was reading at that time and I didn't know what it was.. At eleven, I would boast of a pretty above average vocabulary and so I asked my elder cousin what it was, although I can't seem to recollect it now.

The first time I ever had a conversation/discussion about it was online on some poll or question which seems eons ago. Since when I have known what the word meant, I always thought that some people think they are attracted to their own gender and considered it normal. But when I commented that on the poll, I invited a hell lot of irk and abuse. 

"The only reason you're supporting gays is because you are one." || Apparently, I was supposed to be insulted and retract my statement. I was 13 but damnnit, I thought (think) I was right and wouldn't budge!

Now soon approaching 18, I stand by what I've always believed in, that everybody has the right to be/believe in whatever they choose. Gay/straight/atheist/Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Jain/Buddhist doesn't matter as long as you're a nice person. Because : 

I do not think as an individual, I get to choose how a certain person goes about their life. And why should I? How does it matter to me if the person is attracted to the opposite gender or his/her own?! How can I judge a person's life choices? Who or what gives me the right to brand a love wrong? Illegal? An abomination?

Who are we to call out bisexuals? To say that bisexuals are just people who are confused? That they exist because they're indecisive? 

Why can't we accept that there are people who are attracted to people of both genders? 

Anyone with questions regarding bisexuality should read this. It's informative and to the point.

Why can we so easily distinguish between an ice cream, lolly pop and a candy but not between transsexuals, drag queens and transgenders? 

Transsexualism  is generally when a person's designated gender conflicts with their psychological gender.

But basically, transgender is a generic or a common term which includes other divisions such as transsexuals, cross dressers, etc.

Millions of people across the country hide behind their daily job routines or school or college because they are afraid to come out. They're afraid to tell anyone about this HUGE aspect of their lives because that'd cause this toxic chain of events .. Parents disown their children, families refuse to recognize their existence, the bullying raises its ugly head .. 

A lot of people claim that homosexuality is learnt.
Since you're kids, your definition of a couple or marriage = a male + a female, because that is what you see around you, on the television, or you read about in books .. What if the only reason so many people are heterosexuals is because that's the only way they think life works?

Two of the biggest social institutes : home & school are what a child is influenced by the most. With everybody being exposed to media which may not be age appropriate at all times, parents should talk to their children about sex and homosexuality during their early teens or when they deem it appropriate. You want them to know the facts, but parents shouldn't influence their minds poisoning it with their prejudices and bias!

While I haven't come across any homophobic person in real life, I do know quite a few who aren't for it. One of them simply said that she doesn't get it but she isn't opposed to it. Another cites her religion for her believing that homosexuality is against law, nature and God.

God! 

Am I a believer? Yes.

Am  I religious? Yes, a little.

I personally believe that God just wants people to be happy. Whatever name you call him/her by, I believe that if you're religious or even a believer, how can you even suggest that God would hate or punish anyone who isn't straight? 

I have, since a long time, thought about this issue so much. I really would like to do something for the LGBTQ community. It is morbidly sad how apathetic we are to causes which may not directly affect us right now.

If men can be feminists, if men can fight for women rights, why can't straight people fight for queer rights?

This is the time to do things. Stop hatred around you.

• Calling a party gay because it's lame? STOP.
• Calling someone gay because he cries? STOP.
• Calling someone gay because he doesn't revel or show off his macho-ness? STOP.
• Calling someone a lesbian because she's touchy-feely around her friend? STOP

Bullying kills people. There are innumerable people who have suffered from hate and bullying because they are a part of the LGBTQ community. There are teens who have been murdered .. Is this the kind of rigid society you want to live in and pass on?

Calling anything lame 'gay' has become an excruciatingly annoying habit now a days, if you do it too, stop. Ask your friends to stop. While you can't force everyone, or expect everyone to be pro LGBTQ, the least anyone can do as a human being is stop with the gay/faggot/fag/queer insults. 

If you notice someone doing this, try and stop it. Be a nice person for a change.

There is no cut method to remove homophobia and increase awareness instantaneously. It is a long process we need to work on constantly. But we need to start today. Start small, read up. Understand what the community is about, understand what they feel when people react the way they usually do. Put yourself in their shoes. Be more accepting. 

Be open minded. Pass it on to your siblings, your friends, your readers and your parents. Queer Pride is a thing to be celebrated. Today. Now.

*****

Some of the NGOs in India that do amazing work and function as gay/lesbian support groups can be found here, some queer support groups can be found here. 

This is a list of helplines.

The Humsafar Trust has been working for the LGBTQ community since 1994 with their various projects spanning health care, support, project management, community work, counseling, etc.

'Labians' = Lesbians and Bisexuals in Action is an autonomous and non funded, queer feminist collective of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women since 1995. They can be mailed at : streesangam@gmail.com , and their helpline 09833278171 is open on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays from 5pm-8pm.

"Homosexuality : (n) Sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.

Homophobia : (n) Unreasoning fear and antipathy towards homosexuals and homosexuality."

(This post was written for the iDiya contest hosted by Indiblogger)

Blog about any social cause you are passionate about, and its potential solution. If there are any inspiring people or organizations working towards solving it, blog about them as well. INR 30000 goes towards an NGO of your choosing!

It's all about the money.. NEWS FLASH : It's not!

Imagine you are raped. You are sexually abused. You are forced to bed a person, against your will. Your world is obviously shattered. You go to the police. But what do they say behind your back? THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT!

Tehelka recently conducted a string operation in Delhi, spoke to more than 30 senior police officials in the Delhi region. 

[Delhi is the capital of India. It is also known as one of the least safe cities, no offence meant :( I've found amazing female friends who stay there,though. :)]

Although this sting operation just exposed the policemen of Delhi, we all need to stop this Mumbai v/s Delhi and all this. In the end, you get raped, I get raped, it does not matter which city we live in!

So, these police officers, they had the freakin' nerve to say things like :

• SHE ASKED FOR IT.
• IT IS CONSENSUAL MOST OF THE TIME.
• SHE MUST BE FRIENDS WITH ATLEAST ONE OF THE RAPISTS

I don't think any female will "ASK" for rape. That is just plain bullshit conjecture. Rape is not consensual. It is called 'rape' for a reason. Even if a husband forces his wife to bed him without her consent, it still is rape!

And if she knows one of the rapists, isn't that worse? That means someone close to her took advantage of her. That would hurt her so much more. It's not like she would go up to any person and tell them rape me!

A month ago, a female from Noida, was raped and the policemen there who are horrible *insert every abuse here* , they disclosed her identity! She's a teenager for God's sake! Imagine your younger sister, your daughter, she is raped, and then, to add salt to her and your wounds, her identity goes public. How would you feel?

Then began the character assassinations and the mud slinging for which we all are so famous for. Women need to learn how to dress, how to talk,how to act to not get raped because after all it's our fault we get raped right? NO!

She had to leave her school obviously. God knows how much suffering she had to undergo. And her name wasn't the only thing disclosed, they even publicly stated her address. How can you do such a thing??! 

[You can read about it here.]

Not so long ago, in Gurgaon, due to the increasing rape cases, the Police stated that no woman should work or be outside beyond 8pm. If she was, she herself would be at blame for any consequences that followed. This is their reply to a gang rape. A 23 year old was gang raped and this is what we do? Put a curfew on the women? I see a little sense to it, it could be like a temporary solution, for a few days till the culprits are caught maybe. It is a remedy, not a cure!

[Read about it here.]

Sunil Kumar - "In these places, you'll find girls who want to do it (get raped) for Rs,1000. They will drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force,it becomes rape."
That is the whole point no? I can have sex with how many people I want to. But when I am forced, it is rape, OBVIOUSLY!

Sub-Inspector Arjun Singh - "If girls don't stay withing their boundaries, if they don't wear appropriate clothes,then naturally there is attraction. This attraction makes men aggressive, prompting them to just do it."

We are called human beings for a reason,yeah? How can you justify rape as a man's aggressive nature? I may be attracted to dozens of people. I can't just force myself on them. These kind of sentences make men believe they can just force any girl to have sex with them just because they find her attractive. What the hell?

Sub-Inspector Malik- "The girl's mother is divorced. She's living with another man of the Yadav community. She's 48 whereas the man is 28. It's inevitable the two daughters will be wayward, isn't it? Now when 2 young girls watch their 48 year old mother sleeping with a 28 year old man, even they'll be aroused. Sex is like hunger."

I don't even words for this. I mean, how atrocious can someone be? Oh God!

And these are the so called protectors of the society. Jeez! -_-

17 out of the 30 police men were convinced that the rapes are rarely genuine. They said they are just ways to make money. Some went as far as saying that when females don't get enough money from their parents, they turn to this and use it as a 'lucrative business'.

[Read more about the whole Tehelka sting operation here.]

This whole mind set needs to change. If the police work itself claims such atrocious things, then whom do the victims turn to? Who will protect them? 

Rape isn't a joke. It can ruin lives. People suicide, they go into depression, half of them are blamed, because their being raped causes troubles for their siblings' marriage proposals and all.

It is high time, atleast our generation, we learn that this isn't something to be toyed with. Rape is one big stigma on our society but the victim is NOT at blame.

Stay safe, don't travel after dark and learn a few self defense techniques, atleast till our police force mans up to the task of catching the rapists and putting them behind the bars!

 

This is my #3 post for the Stayfree Advanced 'Time To Change' contest hosted on IndiBlogger.

(You can read #1 post here & #2 post here.)

-Blahblaholic x